I have no words for the driving I just witnessed.

"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
10/16/2014 at 14:56 • Filed to: None

I got out early today. I figured I'd go for a drive and blow off some steam. I get to the gas station and a guy filling up a smart car asks me if I enjoy driving the C4. I ask about the smart, turns out he has a 993 and Bently, he says to not change anything about the car. So things start off well, I guess.

Then I pull out and end behind who I will later know as the biggest shitlord in the history of light green ford rangers. I'm at a stoplight in the right lane, it ends up being right turn only. I get in the lane to the left. Ranger cuts in front of me at last minute, no signal or anything. Then I keep driving down the road behind him. We pull off onto a curve that takes you to another road. He stops in the middle of the curve. Okay, if this is intentional, then fuck you. The light is red and we sit there.

We pull off the curve. We are in the middle lane of the road. He slows down to a glacial pace again, no turning signal or sign of turning or anything. I pull over to the left, using my turning signal behind him. He lays on the horn and swings his middle finger around as he cuts in front of me. I lay on my horn, something I never do. He slows down in front if me in the left lane, still honking, and cuts over to an entrance to another road. Now just to fuck with him I honk several times because this shitlord is not able to shoot me. He turns towards me as he sits there waiting to merge onto the other road and simultaneously flips me off, screams at me, and honks his horn from 50 feet away. You had to be there to see how ridiculous the situation was...

Perplexed, I keep driving. I am going down a connecting road a little while after to pull onto a parkway. A minivan tailgates me the entire way. I broke the tires loose pulling away from there with aforementioned minivan behind me, but at the end of the parkway where you turn around a circle in front of mount Vernon, they come right up on my ass doing 40-something in a 25. They nearly miss me while pulling off in another direction.

Then there's another good part where a modified 3.6 ATS follows me in the other direction.

And for the final part, two car pull in front of me from a stop as I'm doing 45. Thank you, moronic northern virginia fucks, for a relaxing drive.

DISCUSSION (19)

AM3R > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7
10/16/2014 at 15:01

That sounds bad, even for northern VA.

StoneCold > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7
10/16/2014 at 15:06

I'm at a stoplight in the right lane, it ends up being right turn only. I get in the lane to the left. Ranger cuts in front of me at last minute.

Did you cut in front of him when going back into the left lane? Or was he also in your same situation and switched left in front of you and thought you were going to hit him?

I'm having trouble seeing why the Ranger person would be angry.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7
10/16/2014 at 15:07

Buy a dash cam, and then drive like a road warrior. Post results.

Audi-os, Amigos! > AM3R
10/16/2014 at 15:07

Ah shit that was you in the Vette? Sorry man.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > StoneCold
10/16/2014 at 15:12

No, I was behind him and got over well before the stoplight. I know the road well enough. Then at the last minute with no signal or anything, Ranger guy cuts right in front of me. He just swerved over just before the intersection. Which was not the strangest of his driving practices.

AM3R > Audi-os, Amigos!
10/16/2014 at 15:14

Nah I don't drive a vette, I just happen to also live in NoVa haha.

StoneCold > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7
10/16/2014 at 15:14

Then...he's just...I don't even...

Sigh.

The Transporter > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7
10/16/2014 at 15:14

I understand all too well. You don't even need a Corvette to experience that, you just need a stock Miata with a roll bar and a sporty looking paint job and everybody thinks you want to reenact The Fast and the Furious at every stoplight. It gets annoying after the 9000th time this happens when you're just trying to get your grocery.

Concerning your pic, it makes me wonder how shitty cars had to be in 1973 for Car and Driver to give the Car Of the Year award to the Mustang II.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > The Transporter
10/16/2014 at 15:19

I wouldn't be surprised. If you need to get in front of someone at a stoplight to make a turn ahead, there's a good chance the idiot in the Celica GT next to you is going to leave less than enough space to pass because they need to show how much power their fart can added.

Also, the 70s had a dark side. And I'm talking about mustang II. Or Vietnam. But more of Mustang II.

Audi-os, Amigos! > AM3R
10/16/2014 at 15:20

Ah dick, I meant to send that to the main dude. Sorry.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
10/16/2014 at 15:20

I now have a new life mission.

Actually, I didn't have one before. But it wouldn't have been as good as road warrior internet sensation.

AM3R > Audi-os, Amigos!
10/16/2014 at 15:24

No worries

Jedidiah > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7
10/16/2014 at 15:39

Kinja'd!!!

Sounds like the driving of people down here in TN. No signals and ass-riding.

Haven't encountered any rage in a while like you did with the Ranger.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Audi-os, Amigos!
10/16/2014 at 15:46

Haha if you're serious then probably not. If it gives you any peace of mind, it was an oddly colored light green ranger and I wasn't anywhere near the parkway (around falls church) when this happened.

Audi-os, Amigos! > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7
10/16/2014 at 15:49

Nah it wasn't me. I'm just joshin'. Though I do live in Arlington, so watch your back son!

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7
10/16/2014 at 15:54

Live in Florida, I know the feel. I miss my tractor traffic jams of (some of)north Alabama.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Audi-os, Amigos!
10/16/2014 at 15:56

Haha you got me. Arlington is my turf, though. I've expanded my operations from Alexandria.

Audi-os, Amigos! > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7
10/16/2014 at 15:59

....if you say "turf war," I'll say, "How high?"

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7
10/16/2014 at 17:20

That reminds me of a time I was driving home late at night and I was tired. So I was in the slow/right lane doing around 90km/h in a 100km/h zone because... well I was tired and wasn't in any hurry.

There was hardly any traffic around and then an asshole driving a rig without a trailer comes up behind me and starts riding my ass and highbeams me as if I'm going slow in the left/passing lane.

It was like the idea of changing lanes to pass someone was a completely foreign concept to him.

I put on my 4 way flashers for a bit because I wasn't gonna speed up for this asshole... especially since there were 2 lanes to my left they could have used to pass.

He keeps riding my ass and highbeams me some more.

I roll down my window, point to the center lane, point to the left lane and give him a "what the hell is your problem/WTF are you doing?" hand signal.

i.gonoma.net/i/market/1007/gestures-images/finger-purse.jpg

That only causes the asshole to honk and flash his highbeams some more.

I just gave him the finger. Kept my speed. Then he seemed to act like he wanted to rear end me, but he didn't. After a bit, he got off the highway.

To this day, I don't know what the fuck that guy's problem was given that I wasn't blocking him and I was minding my own business until he decided to create an issue.

But one thing is for sure... he was the worst and most hot-headed truck driver ever.

The guy was goddamn lucky I wasn't a hothead with a gun.